Twenty years ago, Tammy moved out of a lesbian lifestyle into a walk with God. Today she is ministering to people struggling with homosexuality and to churches who want to minister to these individuals. This week we will consider some of the lessons Tammy has learned along her journey with God.
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"One of the first things I learned," began Tammy, "was that the love of my life that I had searched for so diligently could only be found in a personal relationship with Jesus.
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"During my eight years in the gay world, my quest for security and lasting love became an endless cycle of relationships that I hoped would bring healing and perfect love. I proudly displayed my gay relationships to the world, but not one relationship filled the void that remained in my heart.
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"Early one morning after leaving a party, I realized I had been looking in all
the wrong places for love and security. When I called out to God, it seemed as though a dam broke in my heart. I confessed my sins and told God that I needed him, but he should not get his hopes up because I could not change who I was. I promised to do two things: read the Bible and attend church once a week.
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"Though this was a small step toward God, he—like the father in the story of the prodigal son—ran toward me with open arms. And so began my journey from homosexuality to holiness. Along that journey, I have learned beyond a doubt that there is only one place of complete love and security—Jesus."
Tammy continues her testimony: "When I first made a commitment to serve Jesus, I promised to read the Bible and attend church once a week. My intention was to read scripture with an analytical eye, but soon the words came to life and penetrated my heart. I was confronted with God's love and his call to obedience. Though I tried, I could not make the Bible say what I wanted it to say. I prayed, 'OK, God, I still feel like a homosexual. I don't know how to follow you in obedience. But even with my questions and my confusion, I'll leave it all.
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"When I first came to Christ, I was obstinate and resistant to God's will. Buthis grace stood patiently, hands extended in mercy and arms open wide in love.Now, with his help, I was ready to take a very difficult step of obedience.
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"That evening I ended the relationship I was in. My partner responded to mydeclaration by saying, 'You can't get out of this; no one ever gets out.' Herwords seemed like the words of a drug dealer, not a friend."
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"Help me, God," I prayed. And he did.
Tammy's testimony continues: "One big lesson I've learned is that the Word of God is clear about obedience and how it relates to the Christian walk. Obedience is not optional. In a world that claims no authoritative truth, we must resolve to accept the Word of God as authority in our lives.
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"For a long time, my attitude kept me from obeying God. 'I deserve a lovingrelationship,' I rationalized. 'If this is not permissible, then why do I feelgay? I never asked to be attracted to others of the same sex.' I felt as though the God who was seemingly absent in my childhood was now demanding more than I could give. My anger fueled my disobedience and, in my mind, justified my rebellion.
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"As I opened my heart to God, I recognized my rebellion for what it was. God's call for obedience ceases to be a list of unattainable rules when we realize it is the request of a loving heavenly father inviting us to trust him. He has a plan for my life that exceeds my own, and I can trust him because his love has no limits."
** Are you looking in wrong places for love and security? Perhaps you too are struggling with homosexuality. Or maybe you are looking for love and security in an unhealthy heterosexual relationship, or in striving to be a people pleaser. Tammy discovered that Jesus is the only place to find total love and security. And as she came to him in total honesty and repentance, he ran toward her with open arms. His open arms of love are waiting for you as well.
Tammy couldn't experience the power of God's Word until she moved beyond reading it to living it. Then God gave her the strength to make some very difficult choices to walk in obedience.
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Are you struggling with a problem, doing some things you know you shouldn't, but just aren't strong enough to do what you know is right? Ask God to make his Word real to you. And determine in your heart that you will obey him. Once you make that choice and run to him, you will experience his love, his grace and his power in an all new way.
** Is there an area of rebellion in your life? Ask God to help you trust him withevery part of your life. Choose to do things his way and begin to live "a lifeenergetic and blazing with holiness."
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As you study the Bible and pray, discover as Tammy did that God's ways really are the best ways. That he is your loving heavenly Father and is inviting you to trust him. Just as he had a plan for Tammy's life, he has one for yours. You can trust him because his love has no limits.
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